A letter to my husband...

Dear Husband,
  I was just thinking about you today...you in your far away office, me in my cozy kitchen.  I had a burrito that knocked my socks off for lunch today.  You would have had your's with super hot sauce, minus the avocado, extra cilantro and inhaled it in about two bites to my 15 small ones.

I was thinking about the fact that you were on my mind as I was making my burrito.  You weren't here, I didn't need to prepare you any lunch but you have infiltrated my simplest of thoughts...like what to put on a burrito.

I know that in the beginning you had to work really hard to make me your girl.  Really hard.  I shouldn't have made you work so hard or wait so long.  Deal is I just didn't know that you were what I needed.  But I know now.  I am so very glad I didn't pass up this experience of being your partner in this life...that I said, "why yes I would like to eat breakfast with you every morning for as long as we both shall live, thank you very much."

We both have some serious deficits to our humaness...some areas to work on.  Just as you patiently waited all those years ago, you continue to patiently wait for me to craft a life of good...good to my husband...good to my kids...good to my loved ones...good to my friends and beyond.

You let me be enough in all my nowness...

You willingly experience all of it...just like you will eat my sweet potato soup tonight and not complain even though I know it isn't your favorite.

Maybe I should make you an apple pie as a sweet reward for all the "waiting" and the "patients" this life with me has accumulated.

I love your goodness my husband dear.  Come home and kiss me soon,

Your Wife

And then they rode off into the sunset...

I was 19, he was 21.

He was all, "so hey, wanna get married."

I was like, "ummm, ya..."

And a year later we did just that.

Crazy.

Stupid.

In love.

Tonight for our anniversary we went for a sunset bike ride around our neighborhood.

I use that term loosely... our neighbors are more stocks of wheat and grapes than people.

We got a very well respected, highly qualified babysitter (grandma) and off we went...

trying to out ride the sun.

We can't afford a fancy restaurant or luxury hotel this year.

But at dusk, on a warm summer evening with the one you love on an aqua bike named Betty...

well that's priceless.

High five...

This kid is a delight.

I cannot wait to know the woman she will become.

Funny.

Smart.

Sensitive.

Full of laughter.

I used to think that things, situations made you laugh, feel good, enjoy life.

No...

people like THIS kid do.

Five years ago today we met her...

she has been the best five years of my life to date.  

Elliot...

you are a rock star.

Tis spring that makes me happy...

tis spring that makes me happy....

tis spring that makes me glad...

because he makes pancakes...

I think this man is the bee's knees.  I remember the first time I saw him was on a David Letterman show and he was known as The Naked Chef...quite the funny young man.  I love that he has taken the fact that people listen to him, and decided to talk about something important like feeding kids healthy food at school.  And after watching him with his two little girls...sweetest thing ever!


My very favorite part is the very end when he asks them why they love their daddy...."because he makes us pancakes" they answer.


Every weekend my husband makes our girls pancakes...sweetest thing ever...and oh do they love their daddy.

Latte love...

I love my husband a latte...

Katie's words...

Words found on the internet today that stirred my soul....

"i'm thankful for the knowledge that even the smallest and simplest of lives deserve to be great...that we get to work on it every single day.

 and i'm oh so thankful for those catalyst people in my life that remind me everyday..."

                                                                                                                               -katie

I have only the faintest memory now of what I was like before them.  

The good that is in me, they ignited.

The beauty, the chaos,

my life,

is FULL because of them.

Day 231 of life...

 She is mighty...

she is small...

she is strong...

she is feisty...

she is precious...

she is mine.

Things that go together...

A girl and her dad.

You and me...

We went on a date this weekend.

It's been a while....

just him and me.

We make a great pair.

The strangest thing...

The strangest thing has happened...

we have sent a baby out of the nest.

For the past seven years we have tended her, 

groomed her,

loved her,

taught her.

Now she is out in the big, big world...

also known as 1st grade.

I thought it might be tough,

the adjusting. 

She is fine.

Her little sister, however, is not okay.

She is the one crying, whining.

She misses her best friend,

her constant companion,

her fellow super hero.

For her, the school pick up line

CANNOT come soon enough.

By chance my best decision...

So I was getting my hair made to look like I'm younger than I really am (colored) yesterday and I had the nicest conversation with my hair stylist.  We had been talking about my kids and husband and I asked her if she was married or had any kids.  She said she wasn't and didn't.  She was currently taking a break from a three year relationship, trying to decide what the next step for her life would be.  We talked men and dating and I told her that the man I married was not originally what I thought I wanted, but was EXACTLY what I needed.  

She looked at me kind of surprised, I was kind of surprised by my own words to be honest.  It was a sentence that somehow isn't and yet is flattering all at the same time. I told her my husband has turned out to be the very best decision I have ever made without even really trying.  He never gives up on me.  Every single night he comes back home to me.  He just won't quit.  I'm quite sure he doesn't like me very much at times while still loving me.  Sometimes I don't give him a lot of reasons to be in love with me.  But he just won't stop.  Sometimes I'm hard on him and he keeps coming back for more.  I'm his girl.  His number one lady.  He KNOWS me and still likes me.  He has seen me do and say some pretty ugly things and still thinks I'm pretty inside and out.  He extends a kind of grace to me that I sometimes have a hard time extending to others.  But he continues to offer it to me.  

Today I am feeling humbled as I think about the man that I got and didn't even know I wanted.  Clearly there is a larger, smarter, more powerful source working in my life than my own capabilities.  We are both far from perfect...that's never what you look for in a person anyways.  But his ability to keep coming back to MY imperfections day after day brings me to my knees in thankfulness.  That EVERY girl... should be... as lucky as me.

Couldn't have said it better myself...

Source: mainenmasonjars.tumblr.com via Vicki on Pinterest

1, 2, 3, 4...

1).  Go to library

2). Pick out hoards of books

3).  CD's too

4).  Especially something with Skippy John Jones

5).  Put your pillow on the floor

6).  Listen to stories

7). Repeat 1,278 times

8). Lovely

In love....

...with shoes that make me feel tall...

 ...my artsy fartsy six year old...

...lights meant for a barn...

...baby girl 28 days old...

...spring.

The girls...

I have a friend.....

her name is Jo.

Jo is the kind of friend that when we see each other, although only twice a year at best, we take a deep breath and just pick up the conversation where we last left off.

She is a friend

an auntie,

a deep soul,

an amazing caramel maker,

a treasure.

Oh.  And kind of an amazing photographer.

She lives in Texas and we got to see her on our visit. 

She took the time.

She made the effort.

She also took some of my all time favorite pictures....ever.

Just us girls.

All four of us.

My daughters think she's the coolest thing since sliced bread.

She has captured so many beautiful moments in my life.

She has a gift, a talent and she uses it to bless others.

Now people, if you are put on this earth, there is a reason.

Find it.

Use it.

Do it.

Merry...

Merry Christmas from me to you

Eve of Christmas...

You've waited all year.

You've planned and worked and cooked and wrapped.

Let tomorrow be what it was meant to be.

Celebration.

Love.

A second chance.

Giving.

Receiving.

Holy.

She is....

"I just can't get over how she doesn't look ANYTHING like you!!!" Said to me by a very nice, well meaning woman.

"So...her daddy MUST be blonde."Again...well meaning.

"Does she look like you?" Hummmm, what to reply.

I am not quite sure why in our society it is a compliment to tell someone that their kid looks like them. That some how resemblance is a good thing....a compliment of sorts. At first I thought, no it isn't, that is just someone pointing out an interesting fact. But think about it. When someone says, "your daughter looks just like you" the correct response back is, "ahhhh, thanks!"

THANKS-meaning, that was so nice of you to say.....a COMPLIMENT.

Just so happens I have some strong resembling features of my own mother. I got told that I looked like my mom a lot growing up. Just the other day someone said they figured out who I was in a crowd because I looked like my mom.

I now have two daughters of my own, a third on the way.

When people take the time to point out the OPPOSITE...the fact that your child does not resemble you, what is that?

I have no problem with the fact that they have some strong features of their dad's. I think he's kind of a cutie. I but why does it need to be emphasized how they DO NOT look like their mom.

The above comments are some of the STRONGER opinionated comments that I have gotten.

My point is this:

What is on the outside of my girls is only a fraction of who they are....when I look at my girls I see THEM.

Not my husbands almond shaped eyes that close when he smiles.

Not the bleach blonde hair like the little boy who grew up on the Florida coast.

Not the freckles dusted across her cheeks like her momma.

Not the dark blue circles around their crystal blue eyes like their grandpa's.

Not the flat hands like their great grandma Betty.

Not the heart shaped lips like on my own face....

I see Elliot.

I see Audra.

I see their personalities.

I see THEM.

So my new response is going to be, "your right, she doesn't look anything like me....she looks like Elliot....herself."

Warm hearts, warm hands, warm tummies...

What a lovely way to spend a snowy day...