three things...

It started with my baby's bath.

She smelled so sweet.  

So perfect.  

Her life is so simple right now.  

She is so innocent.  

And she loves me.  

She loves me so deeply, completely.  

She doesn't even understand how flawed I am.  

How very broken. 

 Lacking. 

 She just loves me.  

Cries when I leave her.  

Squeals when she sees me again.  

It's almost enough to make you think, "wow, I must be kind of a big deal," even though I understand child development and have raised two other babies.   

Audra, the seven year old.  

Sitting at the kitchen table drawing her seven year old drawings.  

The cat and the dog.  

Her favorite subjects.  

She is so pleased with her work.  

It's good, but very "seven years old."  

She doesn't care.  

She is pleased, proud of her work.  

Feels accomplished.  

Has found a bit of happy in her day there at the table with paper and pencil. 

And that is all that matters.

Pandora was singing to me "you make every thing glorious and you made me..." but do I feel it or just hear it?  

There is this ugly, sneaky little voice that roams around.  

It speaks quietly..."your okay, but not great." 

It whispers, "You are nice, but not that big of a deal."  

"He made you...but look how flawed things have turned out." 

My God just speaks one decible louder then that nasty little voice.  

He wakes me this morning with my sweet babe, her sweet voice, her sweet breath, her sweet baby buns in the tub.  

He brings my seven year old to the table while I clean the kitchen and points out to me that if a seven year old can feel good about what she creates, why can't I?  

He turns the music up just a bit so that I hear it above the rumble of the house, the chorus of a song that repeats just enough times to wiggle it's way to the front of my mind. 

Three things added up.  I am humbled.  

Again.  

Will I remember this lesson? 

Hopefully it will last longer than the last time.  Hopefully I will catch it again when I forget, when He gently offers it up again to me....again...just when I need it.